The memory of the child that we were once disappeared-it is recorded in our souls. Analyzing your memories, we will understand how she continues to influence us.

It may seem to us that childhood remains in the past, since we imagine life as a straight line. However, our personality is rather similar to the nesting doll: the smallest, children’s “I” is stored inside more adult versions. The emotional drawing characteristic of childhood is repeated with variations in our reaction to many subsequent events.

So, if sadness prevailed in children’s experiences, it is unlikely that we are waiting for a lot of joy ahead. Also in childhood, for the sake of preserving parental love, we probably had to sacrifice some desires, and sometimes the parties to our personality. But becoming adults, we get a chance to “play” them back. How? Explains the psychotherapist Emmanuel de Crocomon.

1. Give your word to your sensations

Purpose: to regain your “liveliness”. The child that we were once still lives in our body. This is not a memory, divorced from what we feel today, but reality. And it is very important for us to meet him again, “because the child is the carrier of a vital impulse,” says Emmanuel de Crocomon, “which I call“ liveliness ”, and a significant part of adult men and women make decisions that are not emanating from this source. They make a choice that does not develop life and joy in them “. To resurrect this impulse:

Find your children’s photos (up to 12 years old). Disassemble them on two types: those that you like, and those that do not like are not for aesthetic reasons, but due to the fact that they express. Choose a photo that you like the least, and the one that likes the most. If you do not find a “positive” photo, work on “negative”.

Take the pen and paper. Look at the photograph and let the emerging images, sensations and feelings appear. Write out in the first person, “I”, everything that this child tells you about himself at the moment: sensations and facts (place, time of the year, why a photograph was taken, clothes that were on you). Then take the next photo and do the same. Pay attention to the physical sensations that you experience while looking at each photo.

Positive experiences (joy, impulse, energy) say that the inner child is in contact with his “liveliness”. In adulthood, physical sensations (opening, expansion, lightness-or closing, compression, severity) signal whether we are in contact with something that is useful for us, or with the fact that it is harmful. That’s why it is important regularly – it is best every day – to listen to your own feelings. And especially in cases where we have to make an important decision.


Provide first aid

Purpose: to realize your wounds. Some of them were obtained due to poor treatment of us in the extreme manifestation (sexual violence, beatings, humiliation). Others arose due to lack of attention, care. This is not about exaggerating some wounds and downplay others, but that we must recognize them and heal them. To detect them:

Let me appear the image of your experiences, In which several painful memories have united: perhaps about how you try not to cry (the wound of an “exemplary child”);The fact that you are on the sidelines when everyone plays (the wound of an “invisible child”), how did you try to say something and this made you be ashamed of yourself. Let all the sensations and emotions caused by this scene-source come to you.

Lie on your back, putting one hand on your heart, and the other on your stomach, And think about the child from this scene-the child that you were once. When taking a breath, think, feel love at the level of the heart;Exhale, think, feel trust at the abdomen. Continue a few minutes.

Every day, taking care of yourself, do it carefully and consciously (shower, combing, dressing, makeup). This will help to feel your own presence and handle yourself respectfully.